Friday, July 14, 2006

Adventures with Construction and other stories: Part II

Chapter Five: Egor

I forget what day it was, it must of been yesterday or the day before, but I was eating lunch in the trailor like usual, and then a guy comes in to talk to Jim my boss. Now there are always guys coming in to talk to Jim, because they need to check up on things and ask questions and so forth, and they aren't really private; hearing them isn't a problem.

So I was sitting there, eating my sandwich, and then the guy that came in started to talk.

Now I'm not meaning to be mean, and I'm only speaking the truth, but this guy sounded like Egor. You know, "yessssss master", except he didn't say that, because that would be creepy. Maybe he smokes, who knows. All I know is, I didn't think anyone really spoke like that, I thought it was a joke voice. Apparently not.

Chapter Six: Porter Potty Adventures

I've been able to put off for almost a month using the porter pottys. I heard terrible stories about them, which would be a girl not want to use them, even guys for that matter. I tried to time my pees so I wouldn't have to go till after work, or I would be able to hold it until I got home. Or sometimes if I really had to go, I would sneak into the buildings where the plumbing worked and use the toliets in there; thought I could only do that twice because they started to put carpet in. So I guess this week I timed my bathroom breaks wrong, and I had to go. And I mean go like a banshee. There is nothing worse then working in a building that has a toliet, but not being able to use it because it doesn't work yet. Oh man. Tear. Anyways, because I was so desperate to relieve myself, I just went to go to the pottys. I didn't even care. And this was what I found.

On the inside of the porter, there was stuff written on it, and it looked like it was by the same person. Here is what is said (keep in mind it is with the same spelling):

"Just like your wife's cookin"

"Close you're legs, it helps with the smell, just like your old lady"

"Asswhip"

"U-Catck ('k' was crossed out and then replaced with a 'h') your own trout. Limit 4"

Now I find this highly ironic. The guy managed to use the correct spelling of your and you're, but didn't quite know how to spell catch or wipe. Hmm. Let me tell you, I sat on that potty until I was through and pondered this perdicament.

Chapter Seven: The Monarchy of Creepers - From the least, to the creeps.

I have been able to narrow down what jobs entitle you to more creepiness, and I will make a list for you.

Not Creepy: Painters

Electricians

The Door and sill guys

Mildly creepy: Plumbers

(one guy isn't creepy, the other guy is; that is how it becomes mild)

Creepy: Siders

(they just creep me out.)

I didn't put the framers up there, because I haven't met any. Though there was one instance...eeee...sketchhhhh.


Chapter Eight: Hearing the Guys talk...ew.


There was a bunch of guy in the building I was working in, doing whatever they do, and I don't think they realized I was in there, so they started talking. Now I was curious of what they would be talking about, so I listened in. Bad idea. First of all, I already heard stories of what they talk about, so I don't know what I was thinking when I thought, "hey, I need proof". Basically, I heard one guy joke to another guy and he said, "You just want to put your seed in every girl". That was basically enough. Oh and worst part. The guy he was talking about was one of the plumbers, a guy who I thought was nice. More like dirty. So that is why the plumbers are mildly creepy, thanks to that guy...sicko.

Chapter Nine: Creepy Plumber is all talk

It made me feel at ease when I realized the creepy plumber is all talk.

I walked by the guy, and knowing it is only polite to smile as you pass by (I really, really, reallllllllly didn't want to), I smiled as I passed by. And as he saw me, he totally looked down, like I intimadated him or something. Ah hahaha.

Oh and other funny stories about this guy. Now I can't be certain that he was hitting on me, but considering the joke was, "plant your seed in every woman", I think it's a fair assessment that he was.

Now the same day as shying away from me saying hello and smiling, I came back from a park where I went to go eat my lunch. When I came back, I guess it was time for the plumbers to go home. As they where driving out (two different cars), I look up and that same guy smiled and waved at me. I had no idea what was going on, I thought he was waving past me. So I semi-smiled. Once I realized what was happening, I smiled and waved at the next plumber named Tyler. Hahaha ahhh, Sean (the creepy plumber) is so all talk. Thank goodness.

Second Story: I was walking and taking some boxes to the big bin where you're suppose to put all the crap, and I walk by the guy, and I hear him say, "That's a big box." ..."Yep..." ....

What was he thinking? "That's a big box." Really? It's big? Wow, thank you for enlightening me. I never really knew what I was carrying, but thanks to you, I now know what this is...it's a big box.

This guy needs to work on his pick-up lines.

Chapter Ten: The S-Farm

As I went home on the motorcycle, I realized there is a farm called, The S-Farm. Now it appears that the farm sells plants. Then what the frick is the "S" for???

The Snail farm? Doubtful.

The Snake farm? I think there would be cages.

The Safari farm? Where are all the animals?

The Sandwhich farm? I don't think those plants turn into organic veggies.

The Seed farm? Now you're just talking dirty.

The moral of this is, name your plant farm after something that makes sense, and not an "S", because who knows what that stands for.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Adventures with Construction and other stories.

I like Kendra's format for her adventures, so I borrowed it. Thank you, Kendra.

Chapter One: Going to work on my Bosses' motorcycle

So two weeks ago, my mom went to Kelowna to see my Oma, so I wasn't going to be able to get a ride to work, aka not go work and aka not make money which I most desperately need. So I was hungry for a ride, and it just so happens that my boss lives in ladner; he asked if I needed a ride. I said sure obviously, and then he followed that up with, "I guess I'll ask my wife if she needs the car, unless you don't mind riding the bike." I had to let that sink in awhile. I haven't been on a motorbike before, and to tell you the truth, they kind of freak me out, but I was never given an opportunity to ride one before either, so if I passed this offer, I may never ride a bike in my life!

So I said yes. And it was killer. Killer fun. I want a bike now. If I ever got the opportunity to buy one - plus the thing about having enough money - I would. It is just that much fun. Plus, you feel realllllllly cool. I mean everyone is just looking at you when you stop. Especially if you are just chill and relaxed. You are the popular kid in school.

That is now currently how I transport myself home.

Chapter two: Russian Clan

There is this one group of siders, and they are all russian and basically only speak Russian, because they have no need for english if everyone they hang around is Russian. They like their Russians.

One time when I was cleaning a building and my music wasn't too loud, I heard a Russian guy talking to an English speaking sider, and man, was this Russian getting pissed off. He was swearing right, left and center in his Russian accent, and let me tell you, I think angry Russians are the most scariest of people. The accent definitely adds to it.

Then he said the "F" word. I kind of chuckled.

Chapter three: Never wear a shirt if you don't want someone to ask about it.

The Electricians at work are great, and not creepers which is a bonus. A big bonus, no joke. One of the Electricians there is named Harvey. Now Harvey is awesome, and is able to have a conversation with anyone and end on a good note; he is definitely a very sociable guy.

I was cleaning the upstairs of one of the buildings (like always), and then the electricians came in to hook up the middle for wires and do their electrician business. Oh, side note for the next chapter, one of the guys, Tony, always has a radio, and when you find Tony, you usually find Harvey.

So I walked upstairs to do my cleaning duties, and then I hear Harvey say, "WCB Guitar Player?".

Oh...crap. Out of the most embaressing things to ask, that has got to be one of the most embaressing. For those of you who do not understand, Kendra, Breanne and I had a band for a verrrry short length of time called "Whoopla Cowbell". It was more of a joke title really, but I thought it would be neat if I made t-shirts, which it was, but I never thought about the consequences of it. Trying to explain about a band named whoopla would be horrific, and even ruin my career.

So to not add any major description to my answer, I simple said, "Oh, it was a band I was in."

And then he said, "Oh, so you're a rockstar?" With a smile of course.

And I replied, "I guess."

He laughed, and that was the end of that.

Chapter Four: Singing Electrician

I heard Harvey sing to the radio when he thought I was listening to my MP3 player. He did a rendition of "Sweet child of mine" and "Bad day". He even did all the falcetto parts in "sweet child" almost perfectly. He must of practiced it back in the day.

How well did he sing "bad day"? I tuned out, because I hate that song.


I will continue with more adventures perhaps when I'm done eating dinner.